The past two weeks

Two weeks ago today Korben started a fussiness frenzy that lasted almost an entire week. On that Monday (the 19th) I took him to the doctor thinking he must have had an ear infection because he was so fussy. He did not have an ear infection, but the doctor said he had probably had some sort of virus making him feel bad or he was teething. After he cried for all of Tuesday and Wednesday, I took him to an after-hours walk-in clinic to see if he had a urinary tract infection. I know that sounds random, but after trying to diagnose him via the internet, I realized he was having all of the symptoms of a UTI. He did not have one, which was a good thing, but that still didn't help our dilemma. Thursday and Friday were even more fussy days. I was doing everything I could possibly do to try to make him feel better and be happy. Nothing was working. By this point, I was losing my self confidence as a mother. I started second guessing him and thinking, "Is this just how he always is?" "Am I blowing this out of proportion?" Praise the Lord, on Saturday the 24th, he was himself again. This entire past week, he has been an absolute angel. He has felt great and been incredibly happy! It is amazing what a fussy baby vs. a happy baby will do to your psyche. I feel like a different person this week than I did last week. I just felt so sorry for him, because I knew SOMETHING had to be wrong, but he couldn't tell me. I know in my heart that it was not teething that was bothering him. I've seen how he acts when he is teething, and this was much worse. I actually ended up sick with a really sore throat later that week, and I am now convinced that he had some sort of little virus like that making him feel awful. Too bad he couldn't tell me he had a sore throat, body aches, or a headache. Even worse, even if I had known he had those symptoms, there would still be nothing I could have done for him. Fortunately, whatever it was "ran its course." Baby Einstein helped me survive that week. Once again, I thank God for Baby Einstein. I think God Himself must send subliminal messages to Korben through Baby Einstein Videos. It really seems like a spiritual experiences for him in those little 30 minute segments.

Speaking of spiritual experiences. Last Sunday (the first day of a happy week), I really wanted Korben to take a good nap before we went to Sunday night church. I never rock Korben to sleep because he does so well at going to sleep alone in his crib, but for some reason I wanted to rock him to sleep that day. I rocked him to sleep, and started to get out of the chair to put him in his crib. I knew I had lots of things I could get done during his nap. Then it hit me...those things can wait. How often does Korben sleep in my arms? I can't even remember the last time he has slept in my arms. So, I snuggled back into my chair and just watched him. Usually, I fall asleep anywhere if I am still for longer than 5 minutes. But for some reason, I never fell asleep. For two hours, I just stared at Korben's precious face, and looked around at the pictures in his room. I couldn't get over how much his "sleeping expression" still looks just like the first glimpse I ever got at him. I have to admit that for those full two hours, I never got bored, I never wished I could get up, and I was never sleepy. I just had a conversation with God in my head the entire time. The odd thing about this conversation is that I don't think I said anything more than, "Thank You." Looking at my sweet, sleeping baby's face just overwhelmed me of God's amazing grace. I looked at the collage of pictures on his wall and tears flowed down my face as I thought about all we have experienced in the past year. He truly carried me through times I could not have gotten through on my own. I know its cliche' to say this, but I don't deserve how good God has been to me. As we sang, "Your Grace is Enough" in church this morning, I really wanted it to be my prayer. Yes, God has blessed me with so much, but if it was all taken away, I would still want to be able to sing "Your Grace is enough for me." His grace IS enough for me. I don't deserve it, but I appreciate it. I want to prove that with my lifestyle. I pray that I will live with an attitude of gratitude, truly believing that His grace is enough for me. I know that my sweet Korben is God's before he is mine. I am honored that HE would trust me enough to allow me to be his mommy. I pray that Korben will see Jesus in me, and grow to know that a true relationship with Jesus is all that really matters in this life.
All of this said, those two hours of rocking my Korben, were two of the most "spiritual" hours of my life. I'm so glad I chose to be still.

On a less sappy note, this whole past week has been so so so much fun. I would text Aaron throughout the day and say "We still have a happy baby." Korben gained confidence and speed each day. You would not believe how quickly he can crawl from one end of the house to the other. He has his favorite "spots" he likes to go. He likes to open and close any drawer or cabinet door in the house, and he especially loves to pull up on the bookshelf in the living room and dance to the music that is playing. He is crazy about dancing to music. He smiles and laughs the entire time! Its hard to believe that just a few weeks ago he was a stationary baby.

This past weekend we took 20+ teenage girls in the youth group to Oklahoma City for the Revolve:All Access Tour. This was an incredible conference full of concerts and speakers all pertaining to Girl's finding their identity in Christ. We had a blast! The trip was complete with jumping on the bed, very little sleep, and a wonderful trip to the Cheesecake factory! I think all of us came away from the trip encouraged in some way. Thank you, Mom, for keeping him at our house while we were gone!

I am absolutely cracking up at the fact that Korben only has one top tooth that you can see. He looks so goofy and adorable with that one big 'ole tooth! He has really started to give me the silliest faces when I try to take his picture. He just scrunches up his nose and squints his eyes. Its really hilarious. I was trying to take a picture of he and mom before church, and he made so many hilarious faces this morning before I finally got his normal smile to come out. I meant to take a picture of Korben watching the Inauguration, but I forgot. The picture with the newspaper was the best I could do for documenting Korben's presence during a historic event.

Thanks for reading! Have an awesome day.