Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My Dad's Birthday

Today would be my dad's 65th birthday. I would give so much to be able to celebrate it with him. I feel compelled to blog in his honor today, but I am at a loss for words. It is not that there aren't things I want to say, I just want to say too much.

Unfortunately, I only have ONE picture saved on my computer from before my dad was sick. Here is a picture of him at my wedding on May 27, 2006.

Here we are in Las Vegas in April 2007. Dad had been battling cancer for six months at this point.

We posed for a picture in the Baptist Hospital gift shop right before the 20 week ultrasound in October 2007.

And here is the #1 hog fan in December 2007.

One thing I want to try to articulate is how much I wish Korben could know his Papa Gil, and how much I wish my dad could know Korben. Both would be so incredibly impressed with each other. You know how everyone has their own way of describing people? I wish I could hear my dad describe Korben. He would have the most unique perspective on this very unique little boy. And everyone within earshot of my dad would know it too!

I am already trying to teach Korben about his Papa Gil. Right now that just includes pointing at pictures with him in it, but as Korben grows, so will the stories! Here are some things I am eager to share with him as he grows older.


I can't wait to tell you stories of just how fun, friendly, kind, generous, honest, encouraging, and hard-working your Papa Gil was.

I can't wait to tell you how courageously he fought a terrible sickness called cancer. Doctors said he would only live 2-3 months when he was diagnosed in October '06. He lived 17 months after his diagnosis. He was and is a TRUE hero.

I can't wait to tell you how how excited he was when we told him you were going to be born. When I said I was two months pregnant that night, he said "Seven more months." He knew he had to fight at least seven more months until he could see you.

I can't wait to tell you about how I recorded your heart beat the first time the doctor let us hear it. I played it for your Papa Gil when he was in the hospital...he said, "That sounds like a boy's heartbeat." He was right!

I can't wit to tell you about when we first got to see you on the ultrasound, you had a cute little belly and you only weighed one pound! Papa Gil thought that was so funny that you already had a belly like your daddy!

I can't wait to call you "B.K." sometime when you will understand why I'm calling you that. You see, as soon as I told your Papa Gil I was pregnant, he started referring to you as "B.K." It stands for Bruiser Kinnard...some football player's name. Good thing you were a boy!

I can't wait to tell you how much your Papa Gil would love your hair. His favorite color was red, and everyone knew it. He loved red hair, red cars, and of course anything that was RAZORBACK red.

I can't wait to tell you how your personality ALREADY reminds me of your Papa Gil. You are so friendly to everyone you meet. I love how you say "Hi" to everyone we pass in the grocery store. Your Papa Gil was the same way. It actually used to embarrass me when I was little, but that is why everyone liked him. He was friendly to everyone, and treated everyone equally.

I can't wait to tell you some of the great advice that he gave. I hope I can remember it all, but if my memory fails me, I know that CC and Aunt Kimmie will remember. He always knew the right thing to say in the moment.

I can't wait to tell you how much he loved your CC. They were best friends. They traveled all over the world together. You know the table at CC's house where your high chair is? Well, they would sit at that table every morning to eat breakfast, read the paper together, and talk. They did the same thing at dinner! Some of my favorite memories growing up were breakfast time and dinner time just because I liked to sit and talk with my mom and dad. Your daddy and I promise to do the same with you.

I can't wait to tell you how much your Papa Gil loved music. He loved great singers with powerful voices. Celine Dion was his favorite, but he also really loved Sandi Patty and Carrie Underwood. He loved to watch American Idol! I hope that show will still be on as you get older so we can experience that together!

Korben, I could go on for days with all of the things I want to tell you about your Papa Gil. It breaks my heart that you will not get to meet him on this earth. He went to live with Jesus the night you were born. We will do our best to teach you all of the things he taught us. We miss him so much it is impossible to describe in words. However, we thank God every single day for bringing us YOU at the time he did. You have been a gift from God that has helped us remember God's awesome blessings even through times of sadness.

Dad, we never forget you for a second. We love you, miss you, and can't wait to see you again. Happy 65th Birthday!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Birthday Blog!

I am so sorry it has been almost a week since I posted. Tuesday we had the big doctor's appointment, Wednesday we came back to Fort Smith, and Thursday, Friday and Saturday have been days full of entertaining my one-armed baby! I haven't had time to post, but I have sooooooooo much to post about. I just uploaded a couple weeks worth of pictures to my computer, and boy do I have a lot of cute ones to share with you!

Lets see, the Doctor's appointment on Tuesday went great. The doc assured me that Korben would be well in two weeks. May 12th we will go back, and x-ray one last time. Hopefully, he will then take his bandage off, and he will be good as new! I can't wait for Korben to have his arm back! However, he seems to be missing it less every day! He is amazing me at how adventurous he is getting! Yesterday, he started walking again. He is standing and walking really well considering his balance is off without his arm. He is standing, and playing with his toys just like old times. I am ridiculously careful with him though. I am always hovered around him, ready to catch him. It makes me so sad to not go to church right now, but if I went, I would just have to stay with him in the nursery. He needs one on one attention right now. And, he really wants MY attention, if we get right down to it!

Wednesday my mom drove Korben and me to Clarksville to meet Aaron half way. We ate at Larry's Pizza and celebrated my birthday in advance since I wouldn't be seeing my mom on my actual birthday.

Who says you need two hands to read a book? We were so impressed with his improvisation!

A tired little boy.

Two weeks from today my mom is taking Kim, Aaron and me on a cruise! We are going to Coco cay, Bahamas, St. Thomas, and St. Maarten. Aaron and I have talked about how excited we are about this trip since December when we found out we were going. Mopsy and Poppy are keeping Korben, and they will have so much fun! Korben will have had his "arm back" almost 5 days when he goes to their house, so I'm sure he will be better than ever! Anyway, I'm telling you all of this so I can tell you about the birthday surprise I got last night (Today is my actual birthday). Aaron said, "So, how many formal nights are there going to be on the cruise?" I say, "two." He says, "And what is it you are wearing again?" So, I go in my closet and pull out two black dresses. He says, "I have a birthday surprise for you, so you need to try on one of those dresses." I'm thinking he bought me shoes or something...I couldn't imagine what he had bought me! Besides, I thought he had already given me my birthday present which was 3 hours worth of ironing (I have gotten so behind these past two weeks!) He made me close my eyes, and THIS is what he gave me.

A black onyx ring! I absolutely LOVE it! I was so surprised! I couldn't have picked out anything better myself. Aaron always picks out things better for me, than I could for myself! He sad he knew how much I liked to wear black for dressy occasions and he knew this would be something special for me to remember I got on my 25th birthday! Amazing, huh? I also got a really, really sappy letter. Don't worry, I'm not going to post it. So, yeah...It has been a great birthday! Korben slept all night, which he hasn't been doing lately. That was Korben's gift to me. We have a marriage banquet tonight at church, which I'm really excited about. Sweet Linda Cain has offered to give Korben the one on one attention he needs during that time so I can attend without worries.

A couple cute Korben stories really quickly. He is obsessed with saying "Hi" and "Hey" right now. He will tell you about 500 times a day with the cutest smile on his face. Well, like I mentioned, he has been waking in the night screaming because he can't turn over. The other night, I jumped out of bed because Korben was screaming his head off. I ran in his room, the screaming instantly stops and he says "HI!" I had to just laugh. He is such a mess. He also has this little red phone that attaches to a play table he has. The other day, I saw him pick it up and put it to his ear and say "Hewwwo? (Korben talk for Hello)" So, I told Aaron about it, and put Korben on the spot today hoping he would do it for him. TWICE in a row, he picked up the phone, put it up to his ear, and say "HEY!" He is so smart! Oh, and just want to say that he is kissing again. The kissing was on hiatus for SEVERAL weeks and I sure missed it. It seems to be back because when I rock him to sleep now he just can't kiss me enough. It melts my heart!

Here are some older pictures from my camera I've been meaning to post. These are some pictures we took in my mom's back yard just a few days before Korben broke his arm. There are also some pictures from a couple weeks ago when I made Korben pizza for the first time. It is soy cheese of course. He LOVED it!