My Dad's Birthday

Today would be my dad's 65th birthday. I would give so much to be able to celebrate it with him. I feel compelled to blog in his honor today, but I am at a loss for words. It is not that there aren't things I want to say, I just want to say too much.

Unfortunately, I only have ONE picture saved on my computer from before my dad was sick. Here is a picture of him at my wedding on May 27, 2006.






















Here we are in Las Vegas in April 2007. Dad had been battling cancer for six months at this point.


















We posed for a picture in the Baptist Hospital gift shop right before the 20 week ultrasound in October 2007.





















And here is the #1 hog fan in December 2007.

























One thing I want to try to articulate is how much I wish Korben could know his Papa Gil, and how much I wish my dad could know Korben. Both would be so incredibly impressed with each other. You know how everyone has their own way of describing people? I wish I could hear my dad describe Korben. He would have the most unique perspective on this very unique little boy. And everyone within earshot of my dad would know it too!

I am already trying to teach Korben about his Papa Gil. Right now that just includes pointing at pictures with him in it, but as Korben grows, so will the stories! Here are some things I am eager to share with him as he grows older.

Korben,

I can't wait to tell you stories of just how fun, friendly, kind, generous, honest, encouraging, and hard-working your Papa Gil was.

I can't wait to tell you how courageously he fought a terrible sickness called cancer. Doctors said he would only live 2-3 months when he was diagnosed in October '06. He lived 17 months after his diagnosis. He was and is a TRUE hero.

I can't wait to tell you how how excited he was when we told him you were going to be born. When I said I was two months pregnant that night, he said "Seven more months." He knew he had to fight at least seven more months until he could see you.

I can't wait to tell you about how I recorded your heart beat the first time the doctor let us hear it. I played it for your Papa Gil when he was in the hospital...he said, "That sounds like a boy's heartbeat." He was right!

I can't wit to tell you about when we first got to see you on the ultrasound, you had a cute little belly and you only weighed one pound! Papa Gil thought that was so funny that you already had a belly like your daddy!

I can't wait to call you "B.K." sometime when you will understand why I'm calling you that. You see, as soon as I told your Papa Gil I was pregnant, he started referring to you as "B.K." It stands for Bruiser Kinnard...some football player's name. Good thing you were a boy!

I can't wait to tell you how much your Papa Gil would love your hair. His favorite color was red, and everyone knew it. He loved red hair, red cars, and of course anything that was RAZORBACK red.

I can't wait to tell you how your personality ALREADY reminds me of your Papa Gil. You are so friendly to everyone you meet. I love how you say "Hi" to everyone we pass in the grocery store. Your Papa Gil was the same way. It actually used to embarrass me when I was little, but that is why everyone liked him. He was friendly to everyone, and treated everyone equally.


I can't wait to tell you some of the great advice that he gave. I hope I can remember it all, but if my memory fails me, I know that CC and Aunt Kimmie will remember. He always knew the right thing to say in the moment.



I can't wait to tell you how much he loved your CC. They were best friends. They traveled all over the world together. You know the table at CC's house where your high chair is? Well, they would sit at that table every morning to eat breakfast, read the paper together, and talk. They did the same thing at dinner! Some of my favorite memories growing up were breakfast time and dinner time just because I liked to sit and talk with my mom and dad. Your daddy and I promise to do the same with you.


I can't wait to tell you how much your Papa Gil loved music. He loved great singers with powerful voices. Celine Dion was his favorite, but he also really loved Sandi Patty and Carrie Underwood. He loved to watch American Idol! I hope that show will still be on as you get older so we can experience that together!



Korben, I could go on for days with all of the things I want to tell you about your Papa Gil. It breaks my heart that you will not get to meet him on this earth. He went to live with Jesus the night you were born. We will do our best to teach you all of the things he taught us. We miss him so much it is impossible to describe in words. However, we thank God every single day for bringing us YOU at the time he did. You have been a gift from God that has helped us remember God's awesome blessings even through times of sadness.


Dad, we never forget you for a second. We love you, miss you, and can't wait to see you again. Happy 65th Birthday!